Ranma's Stories
by TheTARDISReturns
Summary: [ABANDONED] Forced to live as 'Ranko' for a little while by Nabiki to clear his debts, Ranma Saotome deals with his family and friends' bewilderment when the half-girl begins acting out-of-character. Combine that with mysterious strangers in Nerima and some bizarre goings-on around the city, and everyone's favorite gender-bending martial artist has his work cut out for him.
1. Part 1, Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_

 _ **Hello, and welcome!**_

 _ **Thank you very much for stopping by and trying out this strange story I made. Before we begin, I want to quickly run down the structure of this fic and explain why it's like this.**_

 _ **This tale will be told in 'parts' (or story arcs, if you prefer), as you may be able to tell by now, each telling a smaller story that connects to the greater whole, and slowly unravels the mystery around the characters and the city of Nerima. It's a strange idea, especially for a story like Ranma, but I'll do my best to make it work and become an enjoyable read. Part 1 (titled Ranma's Trick) begins below.**_

 _ **This story will also be told exclusively through the first person, another uncommon trait for a Ranma fic. This will mostly be Ranma's POV, but I have plans for at least one part to be told from the perspective of someone else, perhaps a certain half-pig...?**_

 ** _If you're okay with all of that, then hooray! I may have just captured a reader, who knows?_**

 ** _Thank you very much, and please enjoy Ranma's Stories._**

 ** _-TTR_**

 **Part 1: Ranma's Trick**

 **1**

February.

Ever since New Years had passed, I had been without incident for the longest time since moving to Nerima initially. It wasn't that there was absolutely no trouble; bouts with Ryoga and chases from Shampoo were simply commonplace around here, after all. But I really can't say that a huge, earth-shattering event had taken place. Whether that be the trickery of a certain elderly Chinese Amazon or yet another crazed, overpowered challenger suddenly appearing before us, these types of interruptions were nowhere to be seen. I could even go as far to say that the days were almost normal. At least, as normal as it can get around here.

So it was on that evening when I was reading manga in the Tendo living room as usual that I could almost feel a chill running up my spine as if these normal days were being brought to an end. Yes, I could sense it… A great evil, here to impart his wrath and multi-layered strategy of ruining my life and stealing Akane away from me. Truly, it would be a battle of titans in the martial arts world, Ranma Saotome vs. the mystery man and his vicious plot. And after my days of rest, I was ready to show my justice to him-

But it was just Nabiki.

Ah, right. The local 'great evil' that I lived with.

The doorway was where the middle Tendo sister stood, the evening sun cracking through the windows and onto her hair. Her striped blouse and tan pants were probably stylish, perhaps even designer. It was no secret that Nabiki Tendo was rich, at least for a high school student. And was that makeup on her face that I spied, little touches here and there? She was growing up, I realized in that instant. Yes, Nabiki Tendo was almost an adult.

Now you might be thinking that Nabiki was a gorgeous woman with an excellent fashion sense that had wandered into a lucky spot where the lighting just happened to frame her face and bring out quite a bit of beauty. But if you knew Nabiki Tendo you would, of course, know what kind of woman she was. It just wasn't possible to see her that way.

The smug look on the savant of all things materialistic completely ruined any chance of capturing the hearts of men. The way her sharp eyes pierced their way through your soul and right to the contents of your wallet was truly something to behold as if she was a robot who didn't have the processing power for any other function. Meeting her once would tell any potential suitors all they needed to know, and they would surely back off immediately.

Ah, what a shame for those buffoons. If only I could somehow redirect Kuno's attention to Nabiki and forget Akane and I...

We looked at each other for a moment, and I realized that Nabiki wasn't moving. She was looking at me from the doorway, all of her attention thrust on me. There were two reasons Nabiki would approach me like this, and neither was any good.

I gulped.

"Yo, Nabiki."

Her eyes glinted. "Hello, Ranma." Saying nothing more, she gestured for me to follow.

Uh-oh. This really couldn't be good. I quickly decided that it would be in my best interest to follow her now.

Seeing her climb the stairs I realized that this really was something important. At this very moment, the two fathers that lived in this home had gone out drinking after dinner and were no longer in the the other hand, Kasumi and Akane were bustling around the kitchen on clean-up duty. While it was improbable, it was theoretically possible to hear a conversation going on in the living room from the kitchen. It was clear that Nabiki didn't want whatever she was about to say to be heard by anyone but me.

I climbed the stairs right behind her somberly and followed her directly into her room.

Nabiki's room was one I rarely went in. It was a neat and tidy place, except for the desk which bore what seemed like hundreds of individual sheets of paper, all scattered and strewn about except for one notable exception, a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. The walls were a quiet purple, and the few bits of furniture that adorned the dwelling were not either too plain nor too fancy.

There wasn't a table for welcoming guests, so I sat on the floor cross-legged instead. Expecting Nabiki to sit at her desk, I was surprised when she joined me on the floor, a few feet away from me and facing the door behind me. She laid out her left leg at a straight angle while she stuck her right leg's knee straight up into the air. She rested her right arm on said leg and put her hand on her face. Her well-manicured fingernails were gleaming in the evening sun pouring into the room. Once she was comfortably in position, she lazily completed this action and stared me down. Seriously, was she purposely finding the spots where the sunlight would make her look the most god-like? I wouldn't be surprised.

"So, Ramna." She drawled, immediately catching my focus. "We need to talk about something."

"I can tell. What about?"

Nabiki leaned over to her desk that was above her head and grabbed a paper blindly. It seems she was actually familiar with that mess because whatever she grabbed was exactly what she had wanted. She placed the paper right in front of us, but face-down.

I see. She set her Trap Card.

Nabiki finally opened her mouth to respond. "We need to talk about your debt."

I started. Okay, so this really wasn't what I had been expecting. Not at all.

The debt Nabiki was speaking of was something that had started long ago when I first started staying with the Tendo's. Whenever there was something I needed, like an outfit for a disguise, I would simply knock on Nabiki's door and 'rent' some clothes for a bit. If I needed to borrow money for a new manga volume that was released, Nabiki was the person to go to. She was like a small bank that gave out small sums of money here and there when you asked for it. She also didn't seem to have any sort of problem giving out money to whoever asked, as long as you signed her contracts promising to pay her back.

"My debt, huh? Well I've been paying it back to the best of my ability, right? I'm seriously not lying or trying to dodge responsibility or nothin... I'm honor-bound to repay my debt to you."

Nabiki nodded. Good, she knew this already. "That isn't the problem, Ranma. I have no doubt that you would work to repay me for years to come if that's what it took. But the issue is you might never be able to fully pay it back."

I couldn't help but laugh at this. "But there ain't no rush, right? Even if I haven't cleared my debt by the time my senior year is over, the worst case is I'll pay you back with money that I earn from a real, adult job. Not that that'd happen. I'm willin' to do any job that you'd want me to right now in order to pay it back. Working to repay a debt ain't exactly uncommon, right?"

The loan shark sitting before me nodded her head once again, but this time with some sort of vague smile. It made me nervous. "And there you go. That's exactly it Ranma, I need you to do something for me or else this debt might never be cleared." Nabiki now had her hand on the downturned piece of paper that would most likely spell my doom. How though, I couldn't figure out.

"'Never be cleared?' That seems a bit far, don't ya think?"

She almost laughed at that. Just what was going on?

"You see Ranma, it just isn't that simple for you. You've driven both of us into quite the corner this time, for different reasons."

"A corner? What?"

Like a gust of wind, Nabiki's hand tore through the air. Perhaps more theatrically than intended, the paper fluttered like a message from the gods before laying itself gently on its other side. Now I could read its contents.

And it seemed Nabiki Tendo really had just lured me into her trap after all.

What is this? Huh? Nabiki was joking, right? She just accidentally grabbed someone else's debt off the cluster of papers and mistakenly showed me this one instead, right? Wait, this is real?

Nabiki beamed at me in a frightful way, like a snake that had just wrapped around its prey.

"3,200,000 yen."

…

I was speechless. There was no way I had amassed such a debt, right? Nowaynowaynowaynowaynoway…

"But don't worry. I have a plan to quickly unbury you from this massive weight on your shoulders."

Somehow, my brain was saved from short-circuiting by the very person who had placed me in this mess to begin with. I looked at her and came back to reality.

"Before that… How did this even happen to begin with? A thousand yen, sure… Maybe even tens of thousands. But 3 million yen?"

"3,200,000." She cut in. Yeah, leave it to Nabiki to correct something like that. "And if you must know, it's a mixture of losing track of how much money you were borrowing, and not paying back interest."

Interest? There was interest?

"Yes, there was interest," Nabiki smirked as if reading my mind.

So the debt had been growing for a long time. That almost felt like cheating in a way. Taking advantage of a man's critical weakness like that… I knew I wasn't good with money, but I thought I at least had a good grasp of who and what I owed. But supposedly, the chips had been stacked against me from the very start. Damn you, Nabiki Tendo. What a truly terrifying foe.

"Well, I can still pay that back. It's a lot, but when I become an adult and have a real job, I can easily pay that back, right?"

"Perhaps… But you forget." Nabiki tapped the side of her cranium as if asking me to use my head. Despite what people think, I'm not brain-dead, so there was no reason to belittle me like this. "Interest, brother-in-law. Leaving it until then would cause the debt to grow to 10 million yen. And before you say anything-" She raised her hand to cut me off as soon as my mouth unhinged in protest. "It's theoretically possible for you to earn 10 million yen as an adult. But that could take a few years, and the debt would have once again grown. You're buried under this mountain, Saotome."

It wasn't impossible to pay off, not completely. We weren't speaking of an insane sum of money here. However it was clear that I could spend a good chunk of adulthood working to pay this thing off, so I was obviously adamant about doing whatever it took to clear this thing as soon as I could. I sighed in defeat.

"So, what is it you want, then?"

"Oh, like I said. I want you to work for me and complete a job. Once the said job is completed, consider your debt and any related fees completely waived."

"You'll wave at it?"

Nabiki stifled a giggle and ignored my comment. I tilted my head in confusion.

"I will clear the debt," she repeated simply.

"So I just need to do something for you, and it's gone, right? Well, that's easy. I'll do whatever it takes, whatever you need. So what did you have in mind?"

Saying that simple thing calmed me down considerably. I can do this. Of course I can. I'm Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything-Goes Martial Arts school. Whatever Nabiki needed, it would be a cakewalk for me.

"Entertainment."

My heart skipped a beat as Nabiki spoke that single, ominous word that hung in the air as if it were mocking me. I felt like I was being continuously strangled even after my body had gone limp from oxygen deprivation. And I could feel that it wasn't over.

"Entertainment? What?"

"Let me put it this way: there is no job that you could do for me that would value 3,200,000 yen. And not even a series of jobs would be able to pay that off, either."

"So then what? You want me to… 'entertain' you?" I shuddered at the word. I was finally getting to the core of the matter, what Nabiki was planning all along.

"Right," she nodded once again. She was good at nodding, as strange as it may sound. Her neck would slither smoothly like a snake's slippery body sometimes. It made me wonder if there was a Spring of Drowned Snake, and how difficult it would be to douse her in it. And then I imagined a snake Nabiki slithering around the house and shivered. I better not do that.

"The simple fact is, there's nothing finite that you can do for me or give me that will clear your debt. So that leaves entertainment. You must entertain me equal to the value of 3,200,000 yen."

"T-Three million's worth of entertainment?!" I stuttered a little. That was pretty uncool of me. "But besides martial arts, I don't really have any skills at all. Nothing entertaining for sure!"

Nabiki grinned smugly, somehow an even worse look than I'd ever seen her with. "Entertainment is completely subjective, Ranma. Unlike gold or other precious metals that have a set value attached to them, entertainment does not. A novel one person finds to be exceedingly entertaining, another might not, and thus the book would have no value to them."

"So you want entertainment that you'll find valuable, equal in value to a large sum of money. I get that, but I have no idea what you could want me to do."

Nabiki's smug look seemed to be plastered onto her face at this point. "Oh, but Ranma. It's a specific type of entertainment that only you can bring."

"Only me?" My thoughts immediately jumped to the Jusenkyo curse. That made me extremely nervous.

"Only you. Ranma Saotome, I want you to pretend to be a girl for as long as I see fit."

I blinked.

There were a few seconds that felt like a lifetime in which I stared at Nabiki, wondering what her thought process on this could possibly be. She's messing with me, is that it?

"Huh" was the only word I could muster. I was sure I had a bit of a panicked look on my face, but that was only natural. There was no way that for any reason, Ranma Saotome, man among men, would pretend to be a girl.

...Well, it wasn't that I hadn't done it before. But for an extended period of time? It wasn't happening.

"It's a prank, just a harmless trick," Nabiki said artfully. "A silly joke to pass the time. I want you to suddenly pretend that you were a girl who was cursed to transform into a boy at the touch of hot water. I want you to keep it going until I've had my fun and say you can stop. Then you can say goodbye to your debt forever."

I wiped away a few beads of sweat that were forming around my hairline. "You're seriously gonna make me do this? I can't do that, you know I can't do that. I don't even know how."

"Well, you'll have to clean up the way you speak and things of that sort, but it shouldn't be too hard. You've done that sort of thing before after all, don't get hung up on it."

"But Pops, he'll kill me. And think of my mother! She might literally kill me!" My brain was spinning, thinking about that stupid seppuku promise and how Mom might react to a prank like this. I was too young to die, dammit!

Nabiki shrugged. "They'll most likely react as if you've had some sort of head trauma. I'm sure they won't do anything too drastic, just go with the flow."

Go with the flow, she says. Wait, she's speaking as if I've already agreed. "Hold on, hold on. There's nothing else I can do? Seriously, anything but that. My pride as a man demands an answer."

"Absolutely nothing at all." Nabiki gave me a look of sheer victory. Yes, this was an unfair match to begin with. It was a game rigged from the start, with no chance of me winning. "Or you could work this debt off for the next decade. Your choice."

I grimaced. I guess I was going to have to bite the bullet this time. I didn't see any easy way out of this, to my displeasure. The snake really had me cornered today.

Nabiki smiled and grabbed another sheet of paper from her desk that was laid out on a clipboard. So that's what that was. It was a contract stating that I would agree with this trick and in doing so, rid myself of debt. Alright, so far so good. However when I glanced at the 'conditions' section, the reality of what I might be about to do really started to sink in.

For example, one of them stated that I "would not speak verbally of the above agreement to anyone, including any other party involved." In other words, I couldn't even talk to Nabiki about all this when it was ongoing. She was so meticulous that even the slim chance that someone might be eavesdropping on a conversation we might have in the future was too high of a chance for her. I didn't know whether to be scared or impressed.

And what was this one? An agreement for me to "not communicate any involvement with other parties in the event of your discovery"? She had even included a way to cover herself if things go south for me. This was harsh.

But I decided I could deal with all of it (though the condition that included me not breaking character around any other person made me shudder a bit). I looked over at the author of the contract herself.

"So you want me to do all this?"

"I think it's fair. It's 3.2 million yen, after all."

She was right. And I hated that she was right. What a mess this was.

What I gleaned from the contract was that the instant I signed it, the interest rate would freeze, and until the completion of the… er, "job", my debt would stay that way. If I failed, then the debt would start ticking back up again. That was a scary thought. Failure was defined as either revealing to someone that it was a trick or giving up early. Since Ranma Saotome doesn't lose, I was more concerned about the former. No way would I be giving up.

At the very least, Nabiki had been kind enough to make the start date for this charade exactly one week from now. That would give me time to prepare and think things through. It would be tough, but I felt that I could make it. Now that I was viewing it with the mindset that this was a challenge, it was far easier for me to process everything.

It was settled, then. This was happening.

I couldn't deny that my hands were shaking just a little bit as I signed my name and inserted the date. The signature was still legible, but I was nervous. The reactions from the Tendo's, the reactions from the students of Furinkan, the reactions of the other suitors. It would be chaos, that fact was plain as day. Nabiki's idea of entertainment was watching someone poke a sleeping bear with a stick, and it was slightly terrifying to think that I had lived in a house with this woman for so long.

I climbed to my feet. For once, I felt like I might be a bit sick at any moment, but I had to accept it. I was doing this. I was doing this so I could no longer have a debt and be happy after high school. That was why. So it was something I had to do. It's like… Training. Yeah, training. Like all those terrible things that Pop forced me through to make me stronger. When I thought of it like that, this was easy. Very easy.

And besides, wouldn't it be really funny to see everyone else's reactions?

"Okay. Challenge accepted." I looked right into Nabiki's eyes and smirked back at her. Finally, we were on equal footing. Now that there was nothing left to throw me off, I could accept Nabiki's challenge head-on. No more surprises, no more plots. Just Ranma vs. Nabiki.

"Alright, I'll have clothes and makeup for you right in here, I'll put it by my door. Come by tomorrow to pick up your new things, 'kay? Make sure you hide them well 'til the day we agreed upon. Oh, and I always thought Ranko was a cute name. Just throwing it out there."

I glowered.

Nabiki Tendo looked like she was about to have the time of her life.


	2. Part 1, Chapter 2

**Update Notice: I somehow managed to post this chapter without chapter breaks, which completely kills the pacing. Fixed as of this update. Oops.**

 **2**

The previous night I had done the smartest thing I'd ever thought of; I provoked Akane into smacking me as hard as she could.

My ingenious idea went like this: If Ranma Saotome wakes up and begins to act strangely, I'll most likely be called out immediately. I could potentially work my way through that, but it would be fighting a needlessly uphill battle. No, what I needed was an excuse to act this way, and I could only think of one thing- head trauma. Not only would it suddenly become astronomically easier to pull this off, it would also save my masculine pride in the process. When Nabiki has had her fun at the end of the prank, I could simply hit my head on something and "miraculously recover", no harm done.

My intelligent plan found my cranium crushed under a boulder. Insulting Akane's body and comparing it to my own usually got her the most worked up, but the amount of power I felt from behind her blows was a lot even for her. I couldn't believe my luck, now everything would seem even more believable than before!

I got up slowly, holding a hand to my head and staggering a bit. I had been hurt badly before, so all I had to do was emulate the feeling I would get after all the battles that had brought me to the brink of death and successfully act out a cranial injury. And to my surprise, it seemed to actually be working.

"Ranma?" Akane looked on at me from the porch, surprised that I seemed hurt. "Are you..." She didn't finish that thought, however, and turned away in a huff realizing she was still upset with me. Good job Akane, totally didn't see through that or anything.

"No... " I whined slightly. "I mean, yes! Yes, totally… Fine…" I wobbled towards the kitchen under Akane's watchful eye.

"Oh my," Kasumi was wearing her usual apron as she spied the two of us from the kitchen window. "Ranma, come here, please. I'll get you an ice pack." I decided that it would be best to listen to her, and stumbled to her side. Kasumi secured an ice pack from the freezer and gave it to me.

"Hold it on the area where it hurts the most," she smiled.

I nodded complacently. "...I think I'm going to turn in early."

Without another word, I made a quick exit from the kitchen, making sure that I passed by the living room where everyone else was relaxing so Pops and Uncle Tendo could get a good look at me in my weakened state as well. While the two old men paused their shogi game to glance over at me with strained looks, Nabiki silently smirked at me from her corner the room, peeking over the novel she had been invested in. If anything, that single look was making me feel a bit paranoid about my acting ability, but I tried to not let it get to me.

I lumbered my way up the stairs and into my room without making any other stops. Slipping into my futon, I placed the ice pack on my forehead and breathed a sigh of relief. Just like that, the first part of the con was complete, with the worried looks of Pops and all the Tendo's signifying my success. The wonderful feeling of victory spread through my body that night, and I quickly fell into a peaceful slumber.

...That was the last bit of peace and quiet I would have in a long while.

* * *

I sprang out of bed in a healthy manner at the ripe time of 4:30 AM, quite a bit before the time I usually wake up. Looking around my room I saw Pops sprawled out over his sheets in a classic fashion. He was completely sound asleep and drooling into his pillow with his defenses completely dropped, so there was nothing to worry about there. It was time to set the plan into motion.

I exited the area and headed straight for the bathroom, making a mental note of just how chilly the weather was. I shivered and dunked my head under the faucet, twisting the right handle with a bit too much force and causing a torrent of freezing water to cascade its way down my head.

"Cold, cold, cold!" I almost yelped but managed to hold it in, shaking as I raised my head to the mirror and saw that familiar red-haired, blue-eyed girl staring back.

Goodbye, my ultimate supreme form of manliness. You will be missed.

I figured that it would be best to wake up in my girl form, as it would be far less embarrassing that way. And don't worry, no one would think oddly of it; I've woken up in the wrong form before. It seems that I'm a cold water magnet even in my sleep.

I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills Nabiki had procured for me. She had told me that if this fake head-trauma plan were to work, I should sleep for too long to make it seem more believable. So because of that, she 'gifted' these to me. Where Nabiki had even gotten this sort of thing from, I had no idea, and I didn't think I wanted to know either. I took a single pill out of the bottle and put the rest back where I had found it.

Creeping my way back into my room, I slipped quietly into my futon without so much as stirring Pops. Honestly, I couldn't believe how well this was actually going so far. But I knew the worst was yet to come.

I clutched the small pill in my hand. This was apparently strong stuff that would knock me out until the afternoon, so there would be no going back once I swallowed it. When I woke up from this, I would have to act differently 24/7. Well, hopefully not an entire week... Nabiki better have her fill of this after just a few days.

To set the record straight, I was in no way scared. I'm not scared of anything after all, so there was no reason to be fearful of something as silly as a prank. It just so happened that my mind was abuzz with all the ways that this could go wrong, that was all. I was thinking of all the different things that this could potentially destroy, including all of my relationships, whether that be friendly or romantic or even my rivalries.

It was strange, but…

Nerima was home. It was weird, it was crazy, it never slowed down and yet still managed to provide such a comfortable feeling within me. And I wanted it to stay that way forever. It wasn't as simple as 'tolerating' it anymore. At some point, this place had somehow become normal to me.

Maybe this was what they called Stockholm Syndrome.

...With that sudden dark thought, I quickly shoved the pill into my mouth.

At first, my vision began to get hazy before I felt like I was losing my grip on the world. Everything would be different when I woke up next. It would be strange, it would be outlandish, it would be abnormal. But what else was new in Nerima?

I felt the passage of time slow down as I seemingly fell into a pit of darkness. This was sleep, right?

Wait… This was the right pill, right? Oh god, what if Nabiki gave me some weird drug?

But that thought was quickly cast aside as consciousness faded.

* * *

Suddenly, I was awake… again.

My eyes were adjusting from the light as I realized it was already morning. Seeing as I had slept for far too long, my head was throbbing with pain, making it harder to regain my senses. I blinked back into the real world and tried to sort out the colors I was seeing. There was a face floating above me that seemed to notice me, I think... I really couldn't tell.

"Mmm…"

"Oh my, you're finally getting up. Are you alright?"

The floating head was saying something. I blinked a few more times and I registered Kasumi, the oldest and kindest Tendo sister. She was sitting beside me and holding my hand, wearing the look of a kind older sister that could never do anything wrong. She was truly a saint of goodwill and selflessness, diligently sitting by a sick person's side for what was likely most of the time I was asleep.

"Where'm I…" I mumbled, barely coherent. Since my headache hadn't stopped, stringing words together proved to be a challenge.

"Oh my, you don't remember? This is the Tendo residence, you're staying here with your father, Genma. My father Soun and my sisters Nabiki and Akane live here as well. Oh, Akane is your fiancee, as you'll recall."

I didn't need you to be so specific… I slowly sat up, stretching drearily. "I know… I just…"

Then my brain registered the 'job' I had to do for Nabiki again, in that split-second moment. Thank goodness I hadn't said anything yet that would give me away, not after all the painstaking set-up I had to do. Looking down, I saw that no one had poured hot water on me while I was sleeping, which was a small victory.

"My head just feels funny, that's all…" This wasn't entirely untrue since my throbbing headache was persisting.

"Oh no, that's awful!" Kasumi looked genuinely worried for my sake. "I'll go get the Advil!" She quickly got up and scampered down the hall. She soon reemerged with the medication and a glass of water, both of which I quickly downed, wiping my lips with the back of my hand to clear off any excess moisture afterward.

"Thank you, Kasumi. You're so helpful and sweet to me, I don't know what to say." I gave my best smile, the one I had been practicing for a week. Girls smile a lot, right…?

Kasumi seemed slightly taken aback but didn't pay it any mind. I hadn't hooked her in yet, damn. So instead I asked: "Where's Akane-chan?" This'll get her, using '-chan' is extremely out-of-character for me.

However...

"Akane-chan is at school, it's the afternoon already. You slept through the whole day and we couldn't wake you no matter what we did... I was actually just about to call Dr. Tofu."

Now it was my turn to be taken aback. Kasumi was smiling and playing along like this was totally normal behavior. The always kind older sister was really taking things to an entirely new level today. Was she just playing along until she could get Dr. Tofu to take a look at me, already assuming brain damage? Or, no, she must not be entirely sure that something is wrong yet. Then I'll just keep dropping hints…

'Wait, no!' My inner voice shouted at me. 'Charging into this situation will make you look even more suspicious, stupid Ranma! We must play this carefully or else we'll never be able to pay Nabiki back!'

You're right, Inner-Ranma! We can't lose here! And it seemed the trick to all this psychological warfare was to play it coy like nothing was wrong at all. So, I'll wait for the opportunity to make my next move…

I smiled lightly and stretched my limbs. "I see, I must be ill. I feel alright, Kasumi-oneesan… Besides a headache, I feel completely fine."

Alright, fine. Maybe I couldn't pace myself.

Looks like I finally broke through her guard, because she had a look of surprise. "Onee…? Your big sister? Me?"

I moved my hand to the front of my mouth and let out a girlish giggle. Kasumi's eyes widened, and even I was shocked a little on the inside. "Of course, Kasumi-onee! I don't see any other big sisters here. Oh, should I perhaps not call you that?"

Thinking of this as the same as pulling a silly prank on Ryoga helped a little bit in the moment. That apparently worked, because it finally seemed to sink in that I was talking and acting differently. A look of shock flitted across Kasumi's face for a split second, but then it defaulted back to her classic sisterly look. It seemed she had decided to play along for the time being after all.

"Of course you may, Ranma-chan. Why, I have always thought of you as a little sister." There was no obvious emphasis on the word 'sister', but it was clear that she was testing the waters so to speak.

"It's good to know that the feeling is mutual, Oneesan," I replied with a polite laugh. "But Ranma sounds rather strange, is that some sort of nickname for Ranko that I didn't know about?"

Hook, line, and sinker.

There would be no going back now.

There was no change in Kasumi's outward demeanor, but I could tell that the gears must be turning in her head at that moment. She seemed to pause as if quickly contemplating the best course of action to take, and then smiled in my direction.

"Of course, how silly of me. Just a slip of the tongue. I'm going to take care of some chores, are you alright on your own, Ranko-chan?" She said this without even a hint of worry in her voice. Looks like she didn't want me to know she thought something was wrong, which was probably the kindest thing Kasumi could do to someone she suspected was suffering from brain damage.

"Yes, I'll be fine." I made to get up but was very quickly stopped.

"Ranko-chan," Kasumi said suddenly. "Wait in bed, please. You should be resting, and I won't take no for an answer."

I gave her an affirmative and laid back down on the futon. I watched Kasumi leave the room from my pillow, noting that she seemed slightly stiff. I may have mentioned this before, but I really did feel bad for doing this to her.

I could understand why Kasumi had told me to rest here. 'Ranko mode' had been activated and there was no telling the damage it could do to the family. If I suddenly started acting like a girl around Pops and Uncle Tendo, there would be a massive fallout. Of course, by Kasumi telling me to wait here under the guise of rest and seeing the two men first to warn them of the situation, she would be minimizing the damage by quite a bit. Or so I hoped.

A few minutes later, I heard the front door open and Akane call out "I'm home!" to the house. Well, it was perfect timing because I heard Pops angrily shout something, followed by a bang. It was likely he had slammed his fists on the table or something to that effect.

I felt nervousness welling up inside me. This is where any pre-prepared plans of mine ended. Once they heard the news about my 'brain damage', I didn't know exactly how they would react, so I couldn't exactly prepare things ahead of time.

Well, except for Pops and Akane. They'd just be angry. And judging by the shouting downstairs, I was exactly right on that one. But once news of this got out to Shampoo? Ryoga? Ukyo? What would they think?

Just as I heard Pops' yelling, I heard another voice join the fray; one that didn't expect in the slightest. I couldn't be completely sure (maybe Akane just got angry and shouted and it happened to sound different than usual) but I thought I had just heard something incredible.

Kasumi shouting at someone.

I was surprised by this, but supposing she could be pushed so far, it could be possible. But Kasumi raising her voice to that level? I couldn't help but wonder what had happened. Not to mention, waiting here was also beginning to instill me feel a sense of dread at the unknown reactions of those close to me. I tried finding something to do to distract myself, and ended up reading an Atlas that has been placed in a corner instead of straining myself to listen. I was going to have a heart attack if this kept up, so instead, I started memorizing the geography of Europe.

Something is really wrong when the only thing that I can do with myself is study.

After a few minutes of doing that, I heard four sets of footsteps march towards my room. The door swung open, and on the other side was Kasumi, Akane, Nabiki and Soun. Pops was surprisingly nowhere to be found.

"Ranma!" Uncle Tendo wailed through his tears. "What happened to you, my boy?!"

"Please don't call me that…" I looked at the floor shyly. This just made my would-be uncle's crying even louder.

Akane snorted and rolled her eyes. Kasumi whirled around at this and glared at her little sister. "Akane. What did we just speak about earlier?" She said with the tiniest hint of anger in her voice.

Ah, so that was it. Kasumi was just being protective of me when she had shouted earlier, probably at either Akane's or Pops' desire to hit me until I went back to normal, or something like that.

Nabiki simply watched this scene and smiled. She was the furthest behind of the group, leaning on the doorframe and crossing her arms comfortably. 'Enjoying the show yet, jerk?' was what I wanted to say, but I held it in.

The afternoon was about to get a lot more interesting.

* * *

"I can't believe you're making me do this. Really now."

Akane was fuming. She and I walked the empty streets of Nerima under the orange-tinted sky, on the same evening that I had woken up. After dinner, Kasumi had told me that I absolutely must have a checkup with Dr. Tofu. Akane had been forced along as well, as my… Bodyguard? The whole idea was silly to Akane, but Kasumi had insisted that I be escorted in case of an emergency.

The rest of my afternoon had not been fun. After I had finally left my futon to eat dinner with the family and begun speaking somewhat effeminately, the entire house had turned against me, bar Kasumi. Soun was crying even harder, Akane looked like she was about to blow a fuse and Nabiki, well… Nabiki was quietly snickering in the corner. I hope you're enjoying my comedy act, Nabiki. That meal alone must've been worth a million yen at least.

Pops didn't join us, however; it seemed that earlier, Kasumi had gone through the trouble of banning him to his panda form and wasn't letting him inside the house for a bit. She instead gave him some bamboo shoots for dinner, which he took and left to eat alone somewhere in town. Where he was and how long he planned on staying away, I had no idea. At least he wouldn't be a problem for now...

On the other hand, Akane thought I was faking it, which was the worst possible reaction I could've gotten from her. She really thought this poorly of me, it almost made me laugh. This would make the ridiculous trick all the more difficult to pull off, but I wouldn't cede here. And my current stroll with the tomboyish Tendo was the perfect chance to score some "girl points".

"So, Akane-chan…" I gave my best polite voice as I spoke, much to the visible displeasure of my fiancee. "How was school today? Did I miss anything important?"

Akane's forehead muscles twitched. "Not particularly." She replied simply. "It isn't like you to care about school, Ranma."

"Ranko," I corrected.

"RanMA."She emphasized the second syllable heavily.

Ouch, this wasn't going to be easy. I decided that wasn't a subject that I should push much harder and moved on.

"Well, I never was book-savvy. But still, nothing crazy happened I take it? Like another insane martial artist asking for me or something."

Akane shook her head. "Nothing out of the ordinary, no. I fought with Kuno for a little bit but nothing else happened."

"Kuno, huh. Was it the usual?"

"No, actually. He was asking for you in particular, though- Both his rival and his "pigtailed goddess". He might have something planned for you."

"That doesn't sound good," I groaned. This was the perfect chance for some deception, it seems. "It's bad enough that he had to fall in love with me, he also had to go and make a rivalry with my cursed guy side. Ah, how scary..."

Akane's eyes flickered over to me with an angry glare stamped on her face, telling me all I needed to know. She suddenly stopped walking and grabbed my arm, looking me dead in the eyes just a few feet away from my head.

"Ranma, look. I don't know what the hell your deal is right now, but that's enough. You can trick my sisters and our dads, but you will NOT be able to pull the wool over my eyes. Do you understand me?"

Giving me a glare that could kill a man, I decided to put my acting skills to the test by taking her head-on. "Akane-chan… I don't know what's gotten into you, but why do you suddenly think my name is Ranma? I'm very afraid, please stop this…"

Akane gives me a smug look and shakes her head. "Oh no, no you don't. There's no way that you would get some kind of brain damage from an attack of mine and start acting like this. You're just doing this to get back at me for smacking you, is that it?"

I tilted my head in mock confusion. "You hit my head? When?"

"Don't try and fake your way out of this, you remember last night." The tomboy paused for a moment and let go of my arm, possibly uncertain of herself. "You… You do remember, right? Did I really hit you that hard?"

"Akane-chan, look at me, I'm fine!" I reassured her while giving off my brightest smile, the kind of thing I could never do in my original form out of embarrassment. "Honestly, I don't feel sick at all. I wish I knew what you and Kasumi are making such a big deal out of…"

"Faker." Akane huffed, turned on her heel and marched further down the street.

I grimaced and felt a twinge of pain in my heart that I couldn't quite understand.

...That is to say, a VERY masculine twinge of pain in my heart, of course.

I wouldn't give up here. I lightly jogged to catch up with my would-be fiancee and- Well, there's no easy way to say this. Perhaps I was taken in by the stir of anger Akane was in and maybe found it even a little cute-

Out of a sudden unexplainable desire...

I pat her on the head.

"..."

"..."

I instantly regretted the decision. What could I say, the back of her head swaying as she walked and shaking just slightly from Akane's fuming rage… It just looked so… Pattable.

We both came to a silent halt.

"Ranma."

"Ranko." I corrected once again. "And yes, Akane-san?" I spoke in my minted mock girlish voice dripping with over-exaggerated cuteness.

"...What did you just do to me?"

"Pat."

We looked at each other in silence for a few moments, Akane's face frozen in mild bewilderment. Almost as if time had stopped, my single word response hung in the air for too long.

Hmm… I could push this further I bet!

"Akane-chan!" I gasped suddenly, pointing to something behind her.

This forced the girl to look even more surprised and spin around on her feet. "What?!"

I reached out and pat her head again.

"Pfffft... Ahahahaha!" I couldn't help but laugh at the expression of confusion and perplexity resting on her face. "You… You…" I couldn't get the words out and instead doubled-over from laughter. Teasing her like that was way too much fun.

Akane didn't say or do much for the next few moments and watched me in my apparent insanity. But then, a miracle happened...

"Heeheehee… Ahahaha!" Akane too doubled over in front of me, joining me in my laughter. "W-what kind of a stupid action was that…" She spluttered between bursts of laughter. "You just suddenly pat my head, I didn't know how to react…"

I watched the worry drain from her face, bringing me a ton of relief. My teasing had gotten me both personal satisfaction AND a happy Akane, somehow. That's what I call the best of both worlds.

Still, can't help but wonder how I made Akane this happy so easily...

"Ranma… No, Ranko." Akane amended. "I'm… I'm sorry. I know you aren't faking, it's just… I'm so stressed out from all of this, you know? It's so sudden, and… Please, I hope you can forgive me. Let's just start over." She reached out a hand as if to shake mine.

Wait, seriously?! All these months, and the key to making up with Akane was playfully patting her head?! I couldn't believe it, this was strange behavior even for her… And then it struck me. She thought I was a girl right now, both in body and mind. She was most likely only getting along so well with me because she thought I was 'Ranko'... I knew she didn't like boys but was it really to such an extreme extent? Was this the 'normal' Akane that I only saw a little of the first time we met when she thought I was a girl?

"That's fine, but honestly Akane, I have no idea what you're talking about. What would I even be faking?" I added in that last line to make myself sound all the more convincing, even giving my words a girlish lilt. I bounced slightly on the balls of my feet for added effect.

Judging by the unsure look that flitted across her face for half a second, Akane seemed to be taken aback by my display of femininity here. However, she instead gave me smile. "Nothing, don't worry about it. I'm just worried about the injury I gave you yesterday, that's all. Let's be on our way for now."

Grabbing my hand, she led me on like a big sister looking out for a helpless child. Hey, I'm not an idiot, you know? But seeing this side of Akane was bringing just a slight smile to my face. It seems that this really was the key to befriending Akane, but how long I could keep this up I had no idea. This trick would end in a few days, wouldn't it? If so, that would mean going back to the same old routine with my fiancee. Even so, I would enjoy this peace while it lasted.

As I was helplessly dragged along to the clinic I couldn't help but voice my complaints. "Akane-chan… I can walk, you know."

"Maybe, but right now I'm keeping you where I can see you at all times."

"I feel like some kind of idiot who can't take care of themselves," I sighed.

"You are."

Ouch.

"Sorry, maybe that was a bit mean," Akane smiled apologetically. "But really, you should take better care of yourself."

"What do you mean? I thought I did that already…"

"Well you get lots of exercise, so points for that. It's everything else that's concerning. For example," Akane raised a finger like a teacher about to give a long lecture. "You need to do something about your smell."

"My smell?! This is natural musk, that's all! Musk!" I insisted. And I was right! There was nothing you could do about the Saotome aroma!

"It is not, Ranm- Ranko. You smell like a garbage fire!"

"But every morning I-"

"For the last time, Ranko. Covering yourself with Axe Body Spray does not substitute a shower!"

Geh. Foiled again.

"Oh, and that hair!" Akane chided. "You have to do something with it!"

"What, my hair now?! What did my luscious locks ever do to you?!"

"Luscious? Anything but! Ranko, you need to take better care of that hair of yours! Growing it out only to tie it up and let it wither should be a crime against humanity. Granted, part of the reason that I accepted this short hair was that I was sick of the upkeep, it's a real pain. But you should at least try it sometime. Let me take you to a salon!"

"No thank you," I rejected. "I don't wanna sit still in a chair for three hours while a bunch of middle-aged women gossip about the latest celebrity news or whatever they do."

"Well, I'll give you that... It's not exactly my cup of tea either. But it's about that sense of pride you have when you look at yourself in the mirror at the end of it all and think 'Wow, I grew that myself!'"

"I think that's a very odd reaction to have to your own scalp…"

We finally rounded the corner onto Dr. Tofu's street and made it to his front door. Chilled by the freezing winter weather, both of us hurriedly dived inside the clinic and breathed a sigh of relief at the presence of an indoor heating system. The doctor was nowhere to be seen, however, so we instead took two seats next to one another in the clinic's tiny waiting room.

"Akane-chan," I started suddenly. "I have a question."

"Ask away," she responded, resting her arm comfortably behind her head. "And… You don't have to use that '-chan' suffix for me if you don't want to. You should know by now that you can call me by first name only."

Thank goodness she said that because I was starting to get sick of remembering to say it. It felt too unnatural, even more so than any of the overtly feminine things I had said today to keep up this facade. Akane was Akane to me, through and through.

"What do you think of me?"

I looked away as I said this and couldn't help but blush a little. Er, that is to say, there was a very masculine shade of red on my cheeks. Duh.

I couldn't exactly tell you what brought this inquiry on. It was a feeling that I had gotten in my gut during our friendly conversation that maybe- just maybe- we had gotten a little closer. And this was something I wanted to know.

Akane looked at me, surprised. She opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment-

"Sorry to keep you waiting!"

The voice of a cheerful adult carried across the hall and into the waiting area. Akane quickly turned away from me, clearly flustered. Talk about timing, Dr. Tofu…

"How are you two? Feeling well?"

We both nodded. "Yes, Dr. Tofu!" I gave another one of my feminine smiles I had prepared beforehand. Much like Kasumi, Dr. Tofu did not seem very taken aback by this and instead pretended this was normal for my sake.

"Very good, Ran-"

"Ranko." Akane politely cut in and gave Dr. Tofu a knowing look, which I pretended to be oblivious of.

"Ah, Ranko. Of course." Dr. Tofu smiled sheepishly and signaled for us to follow. "Well, step into my visitation room whenever you're ready. We'll talk more there."

The both of us followed him into the aforementioned room silently. Akane and I sat on the patient's bed next to each other while the good doctor took a seat in his swivel chair.

"Akane-san, Ranko-san," he nodded to both of us, still wearing his omnipresent warm grin. "I heard most of the relevant information over the phone from Kasumi-san."

"To be perfectly honest, Dr. Tofu, I have no idea what everyone is making such a fuss over. I feel completely normal!" I gave my most reassuring smile.

"Yes, of course. Let's just call this a standard check-up, Ranko-san."

"Alright then!"

"I'll start by asking a few basic questions. Don't worry, it's nothing difficult, just very general things about your life. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

"Good. So first," he leaned forward a bit, all his attention on me. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Urk... Was he really going to make me spell it out…?

"Girl," I said as firmly as I could manage.

"Where were you born, and who are your parents?"

"Nerima, and I was born to Genma and Nodoka Saotome as their only child."

"Can you describe your trip to Jusenkyo?"

I sighed, emotionally preparing myself. "I… I fell into a cursed spring… The Spring of Drowned Man. When that happened, I could never forgive Pops and his stupid schemes any longer. It felt horrible to become that way, to feel my body become bigger and warp itself… That night, I cried harder than I ever had before, and-" I became shaky. "I'm sorry. I don't want to say anything more than that."

Akane stared at me in shock, seemingly unprepared for this kind of thing. "Oh, Ranko…" She whispered, placing her left hand on my right and squeezing a little. Not that I needed the emotional support for real, but that at least meant my act was believable enough.

"That will be enough for now, then. I apologize if I pushed you too far, Ranko-san."

"No, please don't worry about it. I'm quite alright."

Dr. Tofu nodded and stood up. "I want to check your chi levels now if you don't mind. Could you please lay on your back?"

"Of course." I did as he said, and Akane moved out of my way accordingly. She instead stood awkwardly against the wall.

"Akane," Dr. Tofu smiled serenely. "Would it be alright if you waited in the front while I examine Ranko? I think I have a good grasp of the situation now, we can speak in private about it afterward."

"Ah… Yes, Dr. Tofu. Of course." Akane gave us a smile and exited the room promptly. Leave it to Dr. Tofu to make Akane do exactly as you ask.

"I'm going to lift up your shirt now and place my hands on your back to measure your chi. Are you okay with this?"

"Yes, that's fine."

Dr. Tofu did as he said he would, patting and prodding at my back before settling both his hands on my spine in different places. I could feel a slight energy ebbing and flowing between the two of us, a strange feeling that I never got used to over the course of our chi examinations.

"Hmmm…" While I couldn't see his face because my head was facing the wall, I could hear Dr. Tofu's tone changing. "Ranko-san… This is very interesting."

Uh-oh. This didn't sound very good.

"Er, what's so strange, Dr. Tofu, the kind, wonderful, caring doctor who I consider to be one of the greatest people I know…?"

"It's no use trying to butter me up, Ranko-san. You see, there are absolutely no signs of head trauma among your chi, no unhealthy flow anywhere. All I notice here is the chi of a perfectly healthy girl. How do you explain that?"

"W-Well, I am a girl after all, so it only stands to reason…" My voice trails off. This isn't working, I couldn't pull one over on Dr. Tofu! He's way too smart!

"Ranko… No, Ranma-kun. Why are you lying about this?"

"Eeeeehhhh? Lying? Me? N-No way, I would never lie to you…"

"That doesn't seem correct. I can sense your heartbeat quickening just from that response."

...Crap.

Dr. Tofu removed his hands from my back slowly. I sat up and looked down at the floor nervously. I couldn't be discovered here… I couldn't lose to Nabiki like this!

"Well, Ranma-kun? Care to explain yourself?"

I gulped. This was going to be tougher than I thought.


	3. Part 1, Chapter 3

**3**

If you were me, you might be cursing yourself for the precarious position you had just ended up in. Yes, as precarious as precarious could get, it truly felt like the earth was about to shatter and I was sure to be crushed under a massive amount of debt, all thanks to the overwhelming insight of a certain doctor. If I were to liken the situation to a film, I would compare it to those old colorless movies that featured a damsel in distress being tied to a train track by an over-the-top, mustachioed, top-hat-wearing villain. However, in this case, I could clearly imagine Nabiki inhabiting the caricature of the evil-doer and myself tied to the tracks. Keeping the metaphor up, I suppose Dr. Tofu would have to be the train conductor then, barreling his way towards my imminent doom.

Except this was real life, not some corny old movie. So even though this is the part where the hero arrives to save the damsel in the nick of time, that wouldn't happen… No matter how desperately I wished it might.

The conductor himself was staring me down with a disapproving look that I was unsure how to react to. Lying would get me nowhere, as he might check my chi again or something. The fact of the matter was, my behavior was too bizarre to explain away as a mere coincidence. Dr. Tofu was expecting an explanation as to why Ranma Saotome, man among men, was acting like this for seemingly no good reason. There was only one thing I could think of telling him, and that was the truth.

"Dr. Tofu… I'm sorry. You're correct, I've been lying and making this entire thing up." I guiltily looked down at the floor. I really did feel bad about lying to kind people the way I did, but the fact of the matter was that being strapped to never-ending debt was worse.

"Ranma-kun. Do you care to explain to me why you did such a thing?" He tapped his shoulder with a disapproving look, probably the first of its kind on his face that I had ever seen.

"Now, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this…" I began. I explained everything. It's not like I had much of a choice, either. I had to pray to any deity that would listen that Dr. Tofu would actually agree that this situation was worth playing along with.

"...And that's the gist of it." I bit my lip as I finished my explanation of Nabiki's forceful lulling of myself into this situation.

Dr. Tofu rubbed his eyes wearily. "Ranma… How on Earth do you end constantly end up in scenarios like this?"

"I wish I knew, doc. Honestly, I'm beginning to find the whole thing a little hard to believe myself."

"As am I," the doctor said slowly. "You don't think… No, nevermind."

He put a stop to whatever thought he had almost formed, causing me to tilt my head slightly. Well, whatever.

"As a doctor, and more importantly as an adult, I can't really help you with this. No, in fact, I outright refuse to."

My heart sank. So that was it, huh. Dr. Tofu would tell the Tendo's I was faking and put an end to our little game. Then it was time to brace myself for at least a month of Akane's hatred for tricking her, then I'd have to worry about getting a good, well-paying job for the first time in my life…

That reminds we, weren't finals in a few weeks? I'd need better grades to get into a decent college that would lead to more diverse career paths, but I wasn't like I had studied for this. Could I do last minute cramming to improve my grades…?

"However," Dr. Tofu continued. "Because of patient confidentiality, I can't exactly tell anyone either."

My head shot up, achieving speeds that felt fast enough to break the sound barrier. "You mean it?!"

Dr. Tofu gave a small smile. "Technically speaking, yes. Even if I am just a chiropractor, I still hold myself to the same standards as a medical doctor. And since you're not committing a crime and you pose no physical danger to yourself or others, everything you tell me in confidence has to stay between us unless you tell me otherwise. "

"In that case, please don't tell anyone, Dr. Tofu!"

He heaved a sigh. "I figured as much. Then I'll need you to promise me something."

"And what would that be, exactly?" I said as I stretched my arms happily.

"If you're ever under a lot of mental stress because of this- or any reason, really- please come see me. My door is always open for speaking with my favorite patient." Dr. Tofu looked at me with genuine care.

"I suppose I can consider that, yeah."

"Good. Now then, I want to talk to you about some unrelated things…"

* * *

The rest of my time in Dr. Tofu's office was nothing special. We spoke of my general health, how I felt about my curse, and he performed an embarrassing physical examination with both of my forms. This was normal for our check-ups, since because of my 'special condition' I apparently needed extra care.

After about 20 minutes of that, I exited the office to find Akane waiting patiently on her own next to an extremely talkative old man rambling about his grandkids or something like that. She looked ready to get out of there, so we did, with Dr. Tofu kindly waving us off.

Outside, the cloudy skies seemed to have finally broken and were now struggling to cling to the snow that it once kept from the ground. I shivered, realizing that I was a bit more sensitive to the cold in this form for whatever reason. Perhaps something to do with my lack of training this specific body? I wasn't wearing anything other than my usual red Chinese shirt and pants, so there shouldn't be a major difference.

Akane shot me a worried look. "Ranko? Are you alright?" She tightened her scarf considerably, currently in the process of getting her mittens on.

"Y-Yeah, just fine." I managed through chattering teeth.

Akane's brow furrowed. "Do you need a jacket?"

I crossed my arms to try and save whatever body heat I could. "No, what makes you think that?"

She narrowed her eyes.

"Ranko."

"Yes, Akane?"

She suddenly grabbed me by the hand and began pulling me in the opposite direction of the Tendo residence.

"Hey, what're you doing?! The dojo is the other way…"

"There's a nice little boutique right down the street. You need at least a jacket for this weather, I don't care how much you insist that you're alright."

Akane began muttering something to herself about my constant need for a babysitter, which made me frown a little.

"Akane, really, I'm fine! This is just some strange weather, I'm sure I'll be alright!"

"This isn't strange, this is called winter! You're going to freeze to death if I don't get you at least something for your torso."

I groaned. Although I could easily slip out of Akane's grasp, it would just make her extremely angry which was something nobody wanted.

"Akaneeee… I don't wanna go to a girly clothes shop…" I whined.

"Honestly, even in this state, you insist on the weirdest stuff. Aren't you a girl right now, or did you hit your head again?"

I began to sweat. I may or may not have totally forgotten that this prank was ongoing and let something slip just then.

"Er, well, I just meant I'm… I've always been a tomboy, y'know? Girly clothes don't suit me."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Doesn't suit YOU? I beg to differ. You wear that stuff all the time for various tricks and stuff, and you always look stunning in whatever it is."

"Well maybe it suits my body, but that doesn't mean it suits my spirit!"

"What does and doesn't suit your spirit isn't really up for debate,' she pointed out. "Clothes are just clothes, aren't they? I don't see why it would affect you emotionally, but that's just me."

"Of course they affect me! If your father spent your entire life forcing you to wear boy's clothing, you wouldn't be so willing to jump on the bandwagon of cute, fashionable outfits, right?"

By the way, that's something I've decided about the backstory of Ranko. Since it's technically just my life but modified for a girl, I decided that I should justify as much of my real life experience as I can without throwing people off. For example, since I've actually spent my life wearing guys clothing, that shouldn't change for Ranko, either. Instead, I'll just say that Pops always wanted a son and forced me into guy's clothes instead. Problem solved!

"Well, I guess that's true," Akane agreed.

"Great! So we shouldn't go to any clothing shops, let's just turn right around and-"

"No."

Yeah, she was stubborn alright.

Seeing as I couldn't brute-force my way out of this situation, I began mulling over various escape plans in my head. I could lie about something, but I didn't really want to do that- this elaborate act I was putting on was digging myself into a large hole already, and there's no way I'd go any deeper than I was forced to. I even thought about using my classic crocodile tears, but that would have no effect on Akane.

I sighed heavily and resigned myself to fate.

Well, a jacket might be comfy, assuming it wasn't too girly.

* * *

"I'm not wearing pink!"

"But this one's kinda cute! Oh, and this skirt-"

"AB-SO-LUTE-LY NOT."

Yuka and Sayuri are a real pain.

To backtrack, Akane had dragged me into the clothing store she had mentioned earlier, a nice boutique called ' _Estelle's_ '. It was relatively upscale; none of the clothes were what I'd call cheap, but it didn't have any outfits only the exceedingly rich could afford either. Overall, it had a comfortable atmosphere and friendly staff, a hallmark of a locally owned business. I could definitely see this as the sort of place high school girls would go after school.

And that's why Akane and I weren't very surprised to find the two inseparable friends Yuka and Sayuri shopping for their spring wardrobe immediately after we arrived.

"Ranma, Akane!" Sayuri cheerily called out, waving to us from across the store.

I realized who had spoken and my face fell a bit. I had hoped that I'd be able to stay home from school during these 'girl days' of mine to prevent any embarrassment, but if Yuka and Sayuri were here, then word would end up getting out anyway.

Akane broke into a grin at the sight of her friends and joined them, forcing me to groan and tag along behind her like a clingy puppy. They exchanged greetings, but very soon their attention forced its way onto me.

"Ranma! Don't you look feminine today," Sayuri gave a mocking wink.

I grit my teeth, resisting the urge to shout in rebellion. "Thanks," I barely managed through a clenched jaw.

Sayuri stopped in her tracks and opened and closed her mouth slowly, unable to find any words in her vocabulary to voice her thoughts, while Yuka gave a sly grin behind her. I think I've had enough sly grins from Nabiki to last me a lifetime, thank you very much...

Akane panicked. "Ah, well, Ranma here is- No, Ranko, I mean…" She quickly pulled her friends aside and began speaking in hushed tones. I turned away and pretended not to notice. About 30 seconds later, they rejoined me.

"So, Ranko…" Sayuri tried to give a smile, but even I could tell it was a little forced. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh… Same as usual, I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Yuka stepped in. "Since your fiancee bonked you on the head and messed you up, I was wondering how girly you really got." She picked up a particularly frilly skirt and shoved it in my face, her words earning a harsh glare from Akane. "Do you like this design? Wanna model it for us?" She smiled mischievously.

"Not in your wildest dreams."

"Oh, let me put mascara on you. Those cute baby blues of yours could pop even more than before!"

"No thanks."

"Oh, how about guys? Surely there's been at least one that caught your eye at some point, right?"

"I've never really noticed any before."

"..." Yuka finally fell silent. She looked like a child who had just been pulled out of a candy shop before being allowed to buy anything. "Hey, Akane. Are you sure Ranma really hit his head? This is just the same person as usual."

"Ahaha…" Akane laughed nervously through a scowl. "Yuka, don't bring all the head-bonking stuff up in front of…" She gestured vaguely towards me.

"Right, right," the playful girl sighed. "Ranko. Got it."

Luckily, Yuka's interest in messing with me died down a little after that- though, it didn't disappear completely. It actually made me worried about how dangerous it would be for me to actually end up in the state of thinking I was a girl… not that something so ridiculous would ever happen, of course.

And so our two pairs merged into a group as the shopping trip began, mostly consisting of Yuka's incessant teasing and Akane coming to my defense. No matter how many outfits they threw at me, I refused to budge. I would not be adding anything that wasn't for disguises to my wardrobe.

The only thing that I did end up buying was that jacket Akane forced me to. It was from the women's section, a scarlet hoodie complete with a zipper and two large front pockets, featuring a silver, sparkling shooting star design on the back. Even though it was easy to identify as a woman's jacket, it was the least-feminine one I could find at this sort of place, so I took the blow to my masculine pride to keep up appearances. Luckily it fit my currently small frame very snugly, so it wasn't like it was uncomfortable.

"Oh!" Sayuri shot up after a satisfying half-hour round of shopping. "There's a neat little cake shop that just opened up across the street. _Joshua's_ , I think it was called? What do you say, you guys want to go give it a try?"

"I will, assuming Ranko doesn't have a problem with it." Akane shrugged.

Hmm… On the one hand, it was probably one of those cute sweet places intended for a female audience, not the kind of place I wanted to be seen… On the other hand, no one would think it was weird in my current state AND I loved sweets. This was a no-brainer. My mouth began to water.

"I have no problem," I nodded ferociously, causing Yuka and Sayuri to giggle.

Hey, what's so funny about a Ranma and his sweets, huh?!

* * *

"So that's how it is…"

Sayuri was leaning back in her chair and licking the frosting off of the fork she had just used to annihilate an innocent piece of cake. Akane was sitting next to her and giving details to the more sensible girl in hushed tones, leaving Yuka and I sitting together on the other side. As you can imagine, this set-up wasn't fun for me at all.

From the few minutes I had spent in the establishment, I could tell that _Joshua's_ was obviously too girly for its own good. The sweets were certainly tasty, but the tacky pink polka-dotted wallpaper, golden trimmings, and neon-purple toiles were enough to make even the most seasoned of gyarus cringe.

We sat in a warm dining area near the wall and were surprised to see we were the only customers there. I wondered for a moment if the horrendous decor was turning off even its target audience, and found that to be the most likely cause.

An irritated-looking old man sat by the register reading a newspaper and smoking a pipe, the sort of person that would give you a glare of disgust if you told them to do their job. Our waitress (the only other staff member on duty, as far as I could tell) wore a horrid bright green maid outfit and was busy playing some sort of mobile game. The constant tapping of her long, fake nails against the screen of the phone was the only other noise echoing through the cafe besides our voices.

While Akane and Sayuri had a quiet and mature conversation, I was being constantly prodded by Yuka for various information. It seemed my current condition was endlessly fascinating to her.

"So, what do you think? Still attracted to women, or…"

"Didn't you make me answer that already?! I… Uh, never thought about any of that romance stuff at all!"

"Hmm… You know, coming from anyone else, I wouldn't believe it. But I can buy that answer from you."

"Finally you stop aski- Wait, what the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

I grumpily stuck my fifth piece of cake into my mouth, chewing and swallowing as quickly as I could. There was nothing quite like stuffing cake down your throat to alleviate stress.

"Ranko, slow down," Akane chided. "Oh, Yuka. I was just sharing my plans with Sayuri for tomorrow."

Yuka raised her eyebrows. "...Plans? What, do we want to hit the town after school again?"

"No no, not that sort of plan," Akane scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "You know… Gym class. And the bathroom situation." She flashed her eyes in my direction.

I almost dropped my fork but managed to hang on. I couldn't believe it, but I had completely overlooked that in my week spent planning for this. Of course the bathrooms were going to be an issue, but gym class? Since lessons were gender-divided, would I be forced to go with the girls or the guys? Either one would be too awkward at the moment, for two very different reasons.

"Ah…" Yuka slowly took a sip of the coffee she had ordered earlier. "Well, as long as we explain the situation I can't imagine it being a huge issue. The other girls might be a bit suspicious at first, but they'll get over it. Or," she added with a shrug. "I'll make them."

Sayuri had a skeptical look on her face, but she nodded in agreement. "I guess so. I can't say I'm not nervous, though. As long as Ranko doesn't try anything…"

I tilted my head in mock confusion. "Try? What would I try?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"Er, well, that is…" The pony-tailed girl went a little red. "I didn't mean anything by it, I'm sorry…"

"I don't know what you could've meant, but okay!" I grinned in her direction, pretending to be ignorant of the situation as usual.

Sayuri gave me a nervous smile and went back to munching on her cake silently.

Suddenly.

"...Gotta use the bathroom," I said sheepishly, standing up and pushing in my chair.

Akane and Sayuri traded nervous looks. "Er, good luck it there, Ranko."

"Akane, what am I gonna do, fall in?" I replied, perhaps sounding a bit more defensive than I had intended.

Not bothering to look back, I bravely marched out of the dining area and passed the register towards the female restroom, an uncharted territory that had been explored by no man before…!

...As it turns out, it was just like the men's room but without the urinals. And even more garish wallpaper, but somehow pinker this time.

Disappointing, to say the least.

One of the stalls was occupied, so I took the other one and-

Well, you know. No need to narrate that bit.

Once I was finished, I exited my stall and began washing my hands silently. The last thing I expected was for the stall door behind me to swing open and for the occupant to speak to me.

"Hey, weird girl."

The odd woman, who had the bravery to speak to someone in the bathroom of all places, had long chestnut hair and shiny red lips. She wore a brown trench coat and matching fedora adorned on top of her head- not to mention, the sunglasses. Who wears sunglasses on a cloudy day like this, and doesn't even bother to take them off inside? This woman, whoever she was, was the textbook definition of 'suspicious person'. It went beyond just looking a little weird or out-of-place; her loud style screamed of a person begging to stick out and be taken note of.

And the fact that the attention-seeker cockily leaned against the frame of the stall, arms folded as if she was the definition of cool didn't help her case in the slightest.

"Weird girl?" I rolled my eyes and glanced at the stranger's reflection. "Look in the mirror before you go calling people that."

"Funny," she said is a humorless voice.

The woman sauntered to the sinks and began washing her hands right next to me. I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose at this.

"So, what, you like to hide in bathroom stalls and insult the poor, beautiful maidens such as myself that wander into your domain often?"

"More like I can't stand snot-nosed teenagers too big for their britches," she spoke abrasively. "But I don't really have a choice but to deal with you, so here you go."

After being satisfied with the dryness of her hands, the rude woman reached into her jacket pocket and placed a business card in my hand without any further warning. I could almost feel my confusion manifest itself into a question mark that popped into existence above my head.

"I'm sorry, what?"

I looked down at the card curiously.

 _Supernatural occurrences got you tearing out your hair?_

 _Dobi Kinante!_

 _A problem so strange that even your plumber can't solve it?_

 _Dobi Kinante!_

 _Have an extra room in your house to sleep in or food that needs eating?_

 _Dobi Kinante!_

 _Cash only. Rates vary on a case-to-case basis._

Below that was a phone number and nothing else. I even flipped the card over assuming there must be more somewhere, only to find it completely blank.

"Y'know lady, this is the worst business card I've ever seen. I mean, what do you even do? And what kind of name is Dobi Kinante, anyway? That just sounds like jumbled nonsense…"

"Well it's mine," she snapped. "And everything that I do is stated on the card. Give me a call sometime, you'll be needing it soon."

Kinante exited the room, swearing to herself as if I was the most unpleasant person on the planet. I was left alone, baffled by what had just happened.

It wasn't until after I had returned to my cake that it occurred to me; Kinante wasn't a patron here at this empty establishment. We had been sitting in the restaurant for at least 30 minutes, and no one had come in or left once in all that time.

I couldn't help but wonder- Did that insane woman predict that I would use the bathroom here before even arriving?

...Had she been hiding in that stall the entire time?

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon in silence, thinking about the bizarre encounter at _Joshua's_. Yuka and Sayuri had said their goodbyes after finishing up their sweets, leaving Akane and I alone again. She seemed relatively tired after hanging out with her friends, and I didn't blame her- those two could be quite exhausting when it came down to it.

We headed back in the direction of the Tendo's, our every step making a soft and satisfying crunching noise due to the half-inch of snow adorning the pavement. I felt relief slowly taking over my body; it would be nice to get home, take off this silly jacket and enjoy a warm bath in my guy form for a moment- Until I would be forced back into my female form almost immediately afterward. Still, a bit of peace would be nice.

As we made a right turn onto the road we usually walk to school on, I noticed the river down below the fence followed by a small hill sloping to its shores. Even I had to note the frozen current, falling snow and the large bridge just above it made for a very picturesque scene. Akane seemed to notice too, stopping in her tracks and peering through the fence to take in the view.

I paused behind her. "Akane, I know it's pretty but can we get going? I'm freezing out here."

"Oh, you admit you're cold when it's an inconvenience to you. Nice one," she twists her lips into a smug 'I told you so', causing me to groan.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that… Fine, if you want to stop for a second, I'll humor you."

Unlike Akane, I leaned my back against the fence right next to her, choosing instead to stare at the snow-covered roofs of suburbia. There was something more pleasant and appealing to me about houses rather than beautiful scenery for some reason.

...No, not 'for some reason'. I knew why. It just wasn't a happy thought.

"You can talk to me, you know."

Startled, I jumped a bit. Was she a mind-reader or something? I glanced over at her, noticing her dark brown eyes were shaded with a degree of empathy.

"...Am I that easy to read?" I muttered. "I don't want to talk about it."

Akane sighed and crossed her arms. "Listen, I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with. We've had a lot of fights in the past, and I've had trouble getting over my _small_ anger issues-" I grimaced at the word 'small'. "-but I like to think, these past few months- as corny as this is to say out loud- That we're still friends, to an extent. And I mean even before today, when you were still-"

She cut herself off mid-sentence.

I couldn't say I wanted to talk about this subject, and I was half-tempted to deflect with an insult, as usual… But that didn't feel right just now.

"I know what you're trying to say," I responded when it became clear she wouldn't keep talking. "But it's awkward. I don't even know what our relationship is supposed to be, Akane. So I never know if I can actually… 'Talk' about things. Serious things. Not that I even want to talk about these things, to begin with."

"But don't you see that that's exactly the issue?" She bit her lip. "You don't talk about _anything_. Ever. All you do is keep it bottled up inside without actually complaining unless someone directly confronts you about it."

"I told you, I'm fine," I snorted. "You don't get that, do you? I've dealt with more crap than you'd believe. You haven't even heard half of what Pops made me do on the ridiculous training trip. And look at me! I'm perfectly fine and stronger for it! So I don't need your pity or concern, Akane. I'm okay."

Akane paused for a second. "You can still talk."

"What? Why? What's the point?"

"Just talking about things is like a purification agent you know. I mean, the problem doesn't go away or anything, but letting everything out is healthy. Everyone has problems like this, stupid little ones or huge ones that feel like the end of the world. I talk to Kasumi all the time, you know? She's a great listener and she's always prepared to help me and… and today it just dawned on me that there's no one in your life like that. Your parents won't listen, your other fiancee's wouldn't either. Ryoga's the only likely candidate but he seems too busy throwing a fist in your face every five seconds- So who do you turn to?"

She paused to draw a breath. "All I'm saying is, I can listen. You can trust me. It doesn't mean that we have to be best friends, but I can still help you when you need it."

I stared dumbly at her. This sort of heartfelt speech was the last thing I ever expected from Akane.

Why in the world would both Dr. Tofu _and_ Akane ever suggest virtually the same thing? And on the same day, too? This was such a coincidence I wanted to laugh.

"So… Please respond to that," she said, turning red and shifting around in the snow nervously. "Don't leave me hanging here after that embarrassing monologue…"

I opened my mouth, but it took more than a few seconds to form the words that I was looking for. In the end, I couldn't even bring myself to reply seriously.

"You know, Akane," I laughed. "For the girl that hit me over the head with a table the day we met, you sure have softened up."

Akane puffed out a cheek. "Is that so? Maybe it's because a certain red-haired martial artist I know wouldn't stop strutting her stuff and bragging about her body in comparison to mine!"

We looked at each other for a moment and started to giggle. I was finding that looking back on the day I arrived at the Tendo's felt strangely far off and nostalgic. It felt like we were two 30-something friends reminiscing about our time at school together.

"Well?" Akane asked, wiping a tear of laughter from the corner of her eye. "Do you want to tell me why you're so enamored with those houses, at least?"

"Urk. Deflection failed. Systems overloading."

In a last-ditch effort, I leaned my waist forward at a 90-degree angle, arms hanging limply like I was some sort of android that had just powered down.

There was a pause.

"...Ranko. What the hell is _this_?"

"..."

Ryoga always played along with my dumb jokes these days… Where was the pork-brain when you needed him?

I hastily adjusted myself back to my normal height. Oh, and there was no heat rising to my face or anything like that.

I swear.

No, really.

Not sensing any way out of this, I opened my mouth to speak.

"It's… It's not something I like to talk about. I guess it's because I never really had a home. I mean, I _had_ a home, at some point anyway. But I can barely remember it. Sometimes I just think to myself... I could've had a normal life. I grew up without a real home, always on the road, sleeping in tents and hotels, and never the same town for too long. That's all, really. It's no big deal."

"See, was that so hard? And it _is_ a big deal," Akane insisted, grabbing my hand with her free one. "I'm sorry that happened to you. I just hope that you feel at home with the Tendo household now. Thanks."

"For what?"

"Trusting me with that."

"...It's only because you were so insistent."

"Well, fine. Whatever the reason, it's nice to know."

Akane let go of her grasp of both the chain-link fence and my hand and began walking home. I gave a slight smile and followed.

The slow-paced walk in silence was boring but oddly cathartic. I felt the events of today raced through my head as if my brain was trying to fully process and file away all the information I gathered today.

And boy, was it a confusing mess.

There wasn't just the 'Ranko' act and everything pertaining to it to keep track of, but also my ever-evolving relationship with Akane, whatever the heck Pops and Mr. Tendo were going to do, and making sure Dr. Tofu keeps his mouth shut (though I was sure he would. Tofu was the last person I expected to go behind my back).

Most importantly, though- and I had no idea why this stuck out in my head as particularly noteworthy- my encounter with the mysterious stranger known as Dobi Kinante. Even thinking the nonsensical name made me cringe internally. Seriously, what was with it? Either that woman had strange parents or that was some kind of pseudonym. I was inclined to go with the latter theory simply because I wanted to believe no parents would name their child a string of gibberish.

And wait, it's not like just her given name was the problem, anyway. I'd never heard the family name Kinante, and I had a striking suspicion that if I turned to Google, such a search term would yield no results.

It was embarrassing to have been approached by such a person, to say the least. It was as if her weirdness would bring down my social reputation just by association.

I fumbled around in my jacket pocket for the business card she had left me and sighed. Kinante had said: "Everything that I do is stated on the card". Judging by the material present, she seemed to fancy herself some sort of modern-day Ghostbuster. At least, that's what my conjecture leads me to believe, but I really had no idea.

And I didn't like it.

I could sense danger off of that woman. Call it my martial artists intuition, but between Nabiki's scheming and Kinante's sudden and abrupt appearance, I had a feeling I would be back to some crazy escapade soon enough.

At least I could shed the 'Ranko' persona when Nabiki inevitably got bored soon enough.

* * *

 **The Epilogue**

 **or**

 **How I Screwed Up**

The next morning I awoke to an empty room. Wherever Pops had run off to, it looked like he wouldn't be coming back anytime soon.

Fine by me.

I grouchily stomped toward the furrow (I'm not a morning person, and never will be) to do all the hygienic things expected of a normal teenager, feeling especially pressured by Akane's prodding the day before. As I slid the door open, I noticed none other than Nabiki Tendo, a towel wrapped around her otherwise naked body as she brushed her teeth.

Just as I was about to frantically apologize and close the door, Nabiki's glinting eyes met mine.

"Come now, Ranko. We're both girls, after all."

"..."

...This girl.

And I was the one constantly accused of a lack of feminine modesty.

I begrudgingly pushed the door closed inside the bathroom, hoping this move would somehow throw her off-kilter, but to no avail. She just happily hummed to herself, clearly in a better mood than normal.

Instead of looking at her, I stared at my feet on the way to the furrow itself as to not embarrass myself further. Somehow, I managed to slip on a piece of soap and fall on my butt, a move most unbecoming of a practitioner of the art.

And Nabiki, well…

Akane and Kasumi have a giggle. It's a nice, pleasant tone that you'd expect a girl to have.

Shampoo laughs like a princess- calm, sweet and demure.

Ukyo's laughter is much louder and more unrefined, but there's still a certain amount of cuteness to it.

On the other hand, Nabiki straight-up cackles. Not quite like Cologne, but it's still... How do I put this…

It sounds like a witch that just ate a child and is celebrating the humor of it.

...So, horrifying was the word after all.

What a terrible thing to hear while your vision spirals and small stars appear above your head.

I quickly came to though, leaping to my feet to mouth off some sort of comeback, but Nabiki wasn't giving me the chance.

"You're such a clown! Please, give us another!"

"Like hell I'm going to purposely slip and fall again! That was the second time since I faked it two days ago…"

"Careful there, Ranko," Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Speaking to me about that stuff is a breach of contract. Remember?"

Right, she had written that thing in a way that excused herself from talking about this stuff out of fear of being caught bullying me.

"Though," she continued. "I guess there are no problems right now. Kasumi is cooking breakfast and she sent out Akane to grab some things for her. As for daddy, he won't step a foot near this place as long as he knows I'm here. So you're safe, but just this once."

"...You take this way too seriously, you know that?"

"Please. This is a casual contract, not the nitty-gritty stuff I'm used to. I could be way harder on you, but I'm not. Wouldn't want to ruin morale and poorly affect your performance…"

"You can't be serious. It's barely a performance when it's every single day, every single second! I mean I know this is only going to last a few days, but-"

"Excuse me?" Nabiki's eyebrows raised, a smug grin forming. "What did you just say?"

"...I hate the look. What's it for? What did I say?"

"Oh, Saotome," she tsked. "You never fail to amuse."

Apparently done with her morning primping, Nabiki sauntered over towards me, dressed in nothing but a towel. If it were any other woman, I would probably be red-faced and trying to hide my arousal.

But this girl had zero effect.

"Wherever did you get the impression that this prank would only last a few days?"

"..."

"Oh no, sweetie. No no no, not at all. You owe me- how much was that again? Ah yes, 3,200,000 yen. Not to mention, my sweet lil' self has gone out of her way to freeze the interest climb for you while the contract is in effect. It's downright generous, really! But, ah, really, Ranko. You should know me better than that by now.

" _This will last multiple months at least, if not longer._ "

Nabiki smirked in a downright cold way at my stunned face. She waved, turning on her heel and strutting out the door.

"Ciao!"

"...Months…"

I barely squeaked out that single word after minutes of silence.

I stared up at the ceiling, wondering just what my completely mortified face looked like on the outside.

My voice cracked:

"...You've gotta be kidding me…"

 **Part 1: Ranma's Trick - End**

 **A/N: Whew. Three months of writer's block on this chapter alone. To be honest, I'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out, but this is what I got and the show must go on.**

 **One of the things preventing me from finishing here was the lack of a satisfying conclusion. This is more of an introduction than a story on its own anyway, but it still felt wrong to leave it without having accomplished anything except set-up for later stories. Eventually, I gave in and accepted that this was how it had to happen. Oh well.**

 **I'm already hard at work at the second part, which will be more of a proper narrative arc, promise. And hey, Maybe I won't get writer's block during this one!**

 **-TTR**


End file.
